Genealogy Etiquette

Have you ever stepped on a wad of freshly chewed gum on the sidewalk? And when you realized what was stuck to your shoe, you became disgusted at the thoughtless person who threw it down there? Tackiness, like that spit out gum, shows lack of honor and integrity and will reflect poorly on your roots, so it behooves you to become aware of basic genealogical manners. Following the GOLDEN RULE is a good beginning --

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." ~ Matthew 7:12. 

That said, here are some gummy pitfalls to be aware of: 

1.  It is really tacky to use pre-1940's papers in mixed media paper crafting [excluding a family tree heritage scrapbook -- scrapbook archivists use vintage papers to accompany their ancestor's photos, not using it as a background paper layer to paint over]. 
As family researchers we use a paper trail to prove our ancestors lived. If it is an original document that has a name, date, and location on it, it is a primary document. If it comes from a biography, genealogy, or history book or magazine article, then it is a secondary document. I would love to have a photograph of my 3rd great-grandparents, but I have nothing personal of theirs except the story told by their descendants which I must pair with outside records to prove their life history.  You know,  if it wasn't for paper ephemera, we would know nothing about our USA and world history that we were taught in school because it comes from the very same type of primary and secondary sources that were saved. 

2. It's really tacky to create a memorial for somebody before they have had their funeral in order boost your memorial stat count on cemetery websites. So, unselfishly think of the grieving family's feelings and have a little respect and self-control. After the funeral, if a loving family member hasn't created a memorial, then go ahead and create it. 

3. It's also tacky to harvest surnames from somebody's family tree in order to find all the corresponding surname tombstones in local cemeteries in order to make memorials to boost your memorial stats too on interment sites and then refuse to add in information or transfer to family.

In addition, gleaning names from non-family trees to create an artificial family for yourself is really tacky! I believe it could be called identity theft or a mental disorder. 

4.  To find all the ugly stories about someone's ancestor and publishing them on a website whether they are true or not to publically humiliate the descendants is definitely tacky! Be  graciously kind! 

5. ASK before taking screen shots of photos from genealogy websites and family blogs to put on your family tree. I will appreciate that and will think more highly of you.  Credit me and/or other people as your source and thank us for sharing. (see my citation note up in side menu). 

6. Impatience is tacky and a bully! Kindly share what you know and then back off. Breathing down people's necks isn't conducive to loving family relationships. Building a family tree is time-consuming as good researchers must check and pair all the details with other documents, some of which may be harder to find.  Also mistakes may appear from time to time. Correct in love. 

7. Plagiarism is tacky too! For example, plagiarism is copying a poem word for word and sending it to a magazine to be published as yours. Call it what it is -- it's stealing. Write your own poem, using your own words! You never know, give yourself some credit; yours might actually be better than the one you wanted to copy. 

Also, cite your sources. It's tacky if you don't. 

8.  Playing games often includes taking turns. You throw the ball back and forth. Just as it is poor sportsmanship to hang onto the ball and not throw it to the next person, it is tacky to take and take and never return the favor. However, on the other side of the coin, it is also tacky to ask someone to fill in your family tree for you and then accuse them of hoarding information when they refuse, when you can very well find it for yourself, just as they have done. 

9. If you make a mistake, it is tacky not to apologize and correct it. 

10. It is tacky to not respond as soon as possible to email or snail-mail, even if you don't know the answer to the question posed. At least, acknowledge that you received their query. We're all busy. . . 

11. And as I'm discovering by following hints on Ancestry, it's really tacky of you to borrow the information that I've presented here for your family tree and not stop and say howdy to your cousin. See that little "comment" word down below - click on it and introduce yourself. 

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. What you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me -- put it into practice." ~ Philippians 4:8-9

Don't be the gum stuck to somebody's shoe! 

More to Read:
1.  Cemetery Etiquette
2. Christa Cowan's video of "Black Sheep in Your Family" 
3. DAR Victoria Pratt's Genealogy Etiquette 
4. Everplans Funeral Etiquette
5. Family Reunion Etiquette
6. Kristen's Guide to Genealogy Etiquette
7.  Ted's Obituaries and Etiquette